Happy 2009! I find it hard to believe that we are now nearly a decade into the new millennium. Times may change, yet the need for proper etiquette in the corporate world remains constant. I have found that what is perceived as lack of good manners is most often ignorance or lack of understanding of the basic rules of etiquette.
A fellow member of what I would term as “The Unofficial Secretaries Club” (i.e.: a fellow secretary), a marvellous young woman with a flair for all things secretarial, was unfortunately perceived as being sloppy because of her approach to organising refreshments at the office meetings. Tea and snacks would be served at the monthly management meetings - in a most disorderly fashion. Tea cups and saucers did not match, serviettes were offered straight from the packaging, snacks were served on the very plates on which it had arrived from the caterers (these were most often soggy paper plates) and arranged like it was meant for kindergarteners.
Until someone decided to address the issue with her: they explained to her that presentation was paramount and that the manner in which she displayed the refreshments was a direct reflection on her.
Not only was the secretary blissfully unaware of the fiasco surrounding the refreshment display, she was also incredibly grateful to her colleague for highlighting the problem and offering suggestions to improve the situation.
At the next meeting, the refreshments table looked neat, organised and very appetising, indeed.
So very often we take for granted that fellow colleagues are familiar with the basic rules of etiquette, yet more often than not, the basic rules of etiquette are lost in the rush that is daily life.
The article that follows is about the all important issue of etiquette – in the office and beyond. It is written by Leslie Back – an amazing writer and one of my favourite columnists.
I am incredibly excited to introduce Leslie Back as the very first guest contributor to the Secretary Diaries blog.
When I first read this particular article, I printed it out and added it to my file, as I found it to be incredibly useful and very enjoyable to read. In it's entirety, this article also includes sections such as "Cellphone Etiquette", "E-mail Netiquette", "At the Table" and "Weddings" etiquette.
I do hope that you enjoy it as much I did – please remember to mail me with your comments.
May I present to you the very first guest contribution to the Secretary Diaries blog... *drum roll*
ETIQUETTE REVISITED by LESLIE BACK
This article is the work of Leslie Back and has been used with permission. Please note that this work is Leslie Back’s own and is copyright.
This guide deals with rules of civility and also acts as a reminder of courtesy however much the rules of courtesy appear to have changed with the times - manners matter! We need to adapt to a new etiquette.
Etiquette is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as
“the conventional rules of behaviour in polite society.”
Goethe wrote,
“A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait.” {Fine words often forgotten.}
The generation gap has produced a chasm of difference one must accept that youth view situations differently, act differently, but should nevertheless behave according to a code of conduct.
THE WORKPLACE
The workplace is an area that embraces many of the changes of attitude. The feminist movement has created different expectations. Gender rules have been pretty much discarded in the corporate culture. A woman who is confident and gracious enough, may accept a door that is held opened for her, but it cannot be expected as a right.
Familiarity and nicknames are considered sexist and patronising.
Sexual harassment is the new ogre. This applies to everyone.
Inter-personal skills are paramount, one has to interact with people of so many backgrounds and mindsets.
Colleagues should be treated courteously and superiors with dignity and respect.
The use of first or surnames is generally dictated by the office ethos. Beware! The use of a first name does not confer familiarity.
Never underestimate the importance of dress in the business arena. Abide by the dress code of the organisation and when in doubt, take your lead from your superiors. ‘Sexy’ is strictly out. Even if you are a member of MENSA, you will be thought of disparagingly if you are dressed as a sex kitten, no cleavage and thigh high skirts. Dressing appropriately for any occasion is a good maxim. The niceties, nuances and details of conduct in the workplace will be revealed in time through exposure. Good Luck!
TIMING
Punctuality means so much. It has become less important to some who are late for everything. Being too early is as irritating as being late.Timing is important for a hostess. An over eager early guest can be as great an embarrassment and nuisance as a guest who has no regard for time and is unconscionably late.
Punctuality is the courtesy of princes; some would do well to remember this.
Knowing when to leave is also important. There are various rules of convention.Some suggest waiting until fifteen minutes after coffee is served. Whichever system one chooses, it must be flexible, but not so flexible as to leave hosts exhausted and disenchanted by guests that just don’t know when enough is enough.
ENTERTAINING
Being entertained in someone’s home is a forum where manners and etiquette prevail. Punctuality counts for much, as do many other factors.
The dress code should be observed if at all possible. If uncertain, a telephone call to your host or hostess will clarify this point.
It is a courtesy to advise hosts and hostesses about food constraints. The ‘healthy eating’ explosion has accompanied the techno-explosion. A hostess needs to know if you are a vegetarian, have food allergies, observe kosher or halaal laws or just simply avoid certain foods.
For the hostess there are many things to do and remember. A party is an opportunity to bring people together, so invite those that will appreciate the invitation and will make an effort to contribute to the success of the party. The chemistry of the group is vital. While it is pleasant to be able to invite like-minded people, do not invite one type of person only, just doctors or lawyers for example. This can be deadly dull, whilst inviting well-known adversaries may be abrasive. A host would be wise to work out the seating in advance and never let it happen by accident.
Choose your guests’ dinner partners carefully, using place cards or table plans or merely by verbal agreement. Woe betides guests that rearrange place cards to suit themselves. Beware the Romeo who has a dalliance planned and place cards that move mysteriously. Serve your guests from the left. Drinks are always on the right. The starting point at a sit down dinner is the woman at the host’s right. If the man on the hostess’s right is the guest of honour, he is served first. After that the service goes round the table clockwise.
Hostesses go to incredible lengths to make their guests feel special, so do your bit and don’t go into a decline as to whether you eat your asparagus with your fingers or not. The ideal guest should take part in conversations and be a lively and happy presence. Home etiquette largely applies when dining or entertaining in a restaurant. Certainly, punctuality and seating arrangements apply, as well as making food preferences known beforehand.
Don’t spend an eternity studying the menu and hogging the waiter with zillions of questions. Try and keep a steady pace with the rest of the party and do not keep people gasping for their next course whilst you pick at your starter. Table-hopping is an example of grossly bad manners. Tipping is generally dependant on service and tends to be between 10% and 15% of the bill.
With special thanks to Leslie Back for the use of the above article. In it's orginal format, this article also contains sections such as, "Cellphone Etiquette", "E-mail Netiquette", "At the Table" and "Weddings" etiquette.
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